The real question here is are you just living or are you living to die? Living to me is not caring who you hurt along the way or just pretending to be something that you apparently are not. I call living a way to appease your targeted audience without showing your intent or your true self for that matter. Your fake close friends, acquaintance, family members or whatever relationship you may have or be in. It is fake until you show the real you. Living gives you a chance to hide behind multiple masks that give you a sense of security that you can hide. What are you hiding you may ask your past hurts, disappointments, failures. Maybe it is all those including unaccomplished goals. Now for you to just live like you are better or simply put content in the skin you created for yourself to pretend.
Allow me to talk about living for a moment, I want to talk about a friend I once knew. We are going to refer to this friend as Jay. Jay was too saved, no life without her bible. Nothing wrong with that, but when this person's friends came by, they were delighted to be around them, and they all enjoined each other's company as well. Oh, you saw too saved now let me clarify for you what too saved is. Too saved would not laugh at your corny jokes and would not tell a joke. Trying to paint themselves as if they are perfect and you are the tainted one. Always meaning things in a loving way and never meaning it the way it was really intended. To not offend the person that is why they say "I say that out of love" does it make it any better nine out of ten the answer is no. They tend to say, "I am just keeping it real with you". Jay is a remarkable person never seems to be at odds with anyone everyone loves them. They will discuss things about other people, but do not get it twisted when you want to discuss something about someone "stop gossiping you know what God thinks about gossipers".
Now Jay means well, and they have you as a friend they can always count on to be who you are and love them unconditionally. They may have a love for you but not in the same manner as you. If they are discussing someone else with you do not think they are not discussing things about you. Now Jay was a sweet lady in her late 60's I say. She never traveled out of the Country, nor did she go to any churches outside of her affiliation meaning that the church she may visit it had to be affiliated with her church group. You have the UPC, PAW, PCAF, and many more, but here is the thing she was well known in the church community. She Ushered on her days and filled in for others. She enjoyed singing in the choir as well. Once you got passed the Praise the Lord! You would generally have to be the one to somehow break the conversation. She was very pleasant, but what some didn't know she was scared to fail. Afraid if anyone knew her try state of mind or got to know the real Jay no one would like her. Isn't it funny how some of us flock to the ones who are just simply living,
Now let's look at living to die shall we. Now living to die you know in which you were born example 02/14/1967- . Notice there is no end date to speak of. Still living and very much alive. Let's look at another friend we are going to call her Mother Kay. Now Mother Kay I look up to her because she is as real as they come. Mother Kay has been somewhat all over the world and BOY she is multi-talented in many ways. She taught me that it is okay to explore this wonderful world that God has created for US. She shares her wisdom in many ways without saying "I am doing or saying this in love, or I am just keeping it real just saying". She says things without apology, and you can ether take or leave what she has said. Now Mother can be found in all auxiliaries of the church. Mother Kay has many followers but none that cannot get close to get to know her. She's that praying mother I want to be. She inspires me to keep reading my bible. She jokes, laughs and oh yea she even pranks at times she just loves to being alive until she closes her eyes for that final time.
She that big kid at heart but she knows that all work and no play shorten your days. I feel that if you are not playful at times you are just too old. Now I look at my own children how they played and, how I played when I was younger. Who remembers the "ToysRus " theme song? That is me in the whole nutshell. Anyway, I can see myself drinking lemonade with Mother Kay on her porch can't you and I will even throw in spending time with her.
As random as the names are, so is our relationship to one another. Sis Jay will be the one to remind you of your past because, she does not know you. Nor will she ever get to know the now you from your yesterday you. Yes, she loves you in her own way though. Mother Kay on the other hand may know your past but she waits to see the butterfly in you. Meaning she watches you grow and learn the world around you. At the same time content with what she sees in you. She loves you unconditionally and you know and feel it for real. Mother Kay will not judge you but sis Jay for sure will. You have to love them both equally. Impossible you say no just keep reading your bible dear one. There is a sis/brother Jay as well as Mother/Elder Kay and yes, I do love them both not because I have to but because I do. Without the Jays, and the Kays, I feel this world would be very boring indeed.
